"While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and covered them, and they were afraid as the entered the cloud. A voice came from the cloud, saying, 'This is my son, whom I have chosen; listen to him." Luke 9:34-35
I think I am finally coming to the realization that, though there are a number of things I want to do with my life, being a mother is probably going to be the only thing I'll really able to do well and whole-heartedly, for at least the next ten years or so. I still have many aspirations in my life--writing, sewing, reading, a career in museum programming, to name just a few--but it has been really difficult to make any of those happen lately. I've really only been able to do any of them with a whole lot of outside help. Of course, being a mom seems particularly overwhelming right now, as my daughter is currently cutting her two top front teeth...there never seems to be a moment's peace, unless she falls asleep during a walk (which she did just now, hence my having ten minutes to blog!). But even when she is in bed for the night, I never know when her sleep might be interrupted, when she might need me, when my own list of "to-dos" gets tossed by the wayside.
Technically, I have the choice, even now, of whether or not I want to be a mom. But emotionally, spiritually, there is no choice. She is my daughter, and I physically could not give up being her mom, not for any reason, and especially not because I would rather pursue my own aspirations. And as I said, ten years (or maybe a bit more) from now, I bet I'll still have some of the same dreams, and maybe I'll pick them back up then.
Jesus didn't really have a choice, either, about what He was called to do on this Earth. But in my nearly 29 years of life, I never thought about the fact that Jesus himself may have had other aspirations and interests. On the surface, it seems sinful to think that Jesus might have wanted to do something else with His life. How could He not want to teach, heal, travel, and ultimately save the human race? That's not a bad resume! We know that he faced temptation in the desert directly from Satan and was able to resist. But how many days did He get up in the morning and think, I can't face those crowds again today. Or, If I have to think of one more analogy to make these people understand, I'll explode! Or, I'm too tired to even think about sending out any healing power. In reality, those may have been more difficult temptations to resist than, "Throw yourself down from this mountain."
Of course, we're all better off because Jesus resisted those temptations (if He had them...I could be totally off the mark). Whether it's being a mother, or the Savior of the world, there are always going to be "other duties as assigned" that we may or may not want to do. But making that commitment, and sticking to it, is going to leave us all better off in the end.