I've been saying for months, regarding my nine-month-old daughter, that you never know when you'll have a wonderful moment of bonding with her. Sure, we expect to bond with our children when playing with them, or introducing them to new experiences, or watching them achieve new accomplishments. But it could just as easily happen during a diaper change. She might let out a random, unexpected giggle, or give you a huge smile. Or you might even bond in the struggle to keep her on the changing table and get the diaper on well enough so that it will carry out its proper function. Any moment could be a "moment."
And tonight, I learned that any moment can be a "life moment," too. As I sat in the rocker, nursing my daughter to sleep tonight, God introduced the idea of this blog to me.
I will be the first to admit that I haven't really done the "God thing" in a while. It's only been in the past several months that I've started attending church with any sort of regularity, after a hiatus that was a whole lot longer than I'd care to admit. I've also made a number of choices over the past few years that were contrary to what I believe, which means they were contrary to who I am. It's rough on the psyche, let me tell you, to look at your life and think, "How did I get here?"
But slowly and surely, I know I have been drifting back to the right place. I know God never left me. I've been struggling mightily with finding the will and the desire to be back into His Word on any sort of basis, let alone a daily basis. But as I nursed my daughter tonight, and had one of those moments with her, God stepped in and let me know it was a moment for Him, too. It brought me to tears.
This is going to be my own devotional journey. I want to read the Word, and write about it, and maybe someone else will find it vaguely useful. But it's for me more than anyone else. If, as you read my words, I sound disjointed and spiritually simplistic, it's because that's where I am right now. You may even read thoughts that seem shockingly unoriginal, as if you've read them in some devotional, somewhere else. But that's okay. I appreciate you coming along on my journey, anyway.
I just want to make sure I am looking for little pieces of God in my own life, every day. He's always been there, but I have lately been too caught up in myself to notice, or to care. I start caring again today. This is just me, seeing God.
I hope.
cool. :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty in and willingness to let us in on this journey back to God. I feel like I myself have been standing still at the beginning of my own path back, but have yet to take a step. Not for the lack of want, but for the lack of passion. Desire. Understanding. A lot has happened to my understanding of God in the past few years and I just can't quite get back to where I was. Totally at peace and in step with Him... Maybe I can tag along with you, Andrea ;)
ReplyDelete